Smoker's Epitaph Fill-In-The-Blank Poems

Here's a great way to be a poet and learn about why you shouldn't smoke! An epitaph is the writing people put on their gravestones. Each of these Smoker's Epitaph Anti-Smoking Poems is missing a word or two. Can you figure out what they are? For a hint, look at the third line of each poem. The missing word or words must rhyme with the last word in the third line. Good luck. Once you've become a pro at Smoker's Epitaphs, try writing your own!

 

Here lies Sam Shay.
Smoked six packs a day.
He started smoking when he was one.
Now he's one dead son-of-a- .

Here lies Sam Shay.
Smoked six packs a day.
He started smoking when he was two.
Now there's nothing he can .

Here lies Sam Shay.
Smoked six packs a day.
He started smoking when he was three.
Now he's buried beneath a .

Here lies Sam Shay.
Smoked six packs a day.
He started smoking when he was four.
Now he's knocking on heaven's .

Here lies Sam Shay.
Smoked six packs a day.
He started smoking when he was five.
Now the poor guy ain't .

Here lies Sam Shay.
Smoked six packs a day.
He started smoking when he was six.
Now he's got a problem we can't .

Here lies Sam Shay.
Smoked six packs a day.
He started smoking when he was seven.
Now we hope he's gone to .

Here lies Sam Shay.
Smoked six packs a day.
He started smoking when he was eight.
Now he he doesn't look too .

Here lies Sam Shay.
Smoked six packs a day.
He started smoking when he was nine.
Now he isn't feeling .

Here lies Sam Shay.
Smoked six packs a day.
He started smoking when he was ten.
Now, he'll never smoke .

 

Stumped? Figured them all out? Click here to see the answers.

 

Copyright 1999 by Bruce Lansky. Reprinted with permission of the author.