Here lies Sam Shay.
Smoked six packs a day.
He started smoking when he was one.
Now he's one dead son-of-a-gun.

Here lies Sam Shay.
Smoked six packs a day.
He started smoking when he was two.
Now there's nothing he can do.

Here lies Sam Shay.
Smoked six packs a day.
He started smoking when he was three.
Now he's buried beneath a tree.

Here lies Sam Shay.
Smoked six packs a day.
He started smoking when he was four.
Now he's knocking on heaven's door.

Here lies Sam Shay.
Smoked six packs a day.
He started smoking when he was five.
Now the poor guy ain't alive.

Here lies Sam Shay.
Smoked six packs a day.
He started smoking when he was six.
Now he's got a problem we can't fix.

Here lies Sam Shay.
Smoked six packs a day.
He started smoking when he was seven.
Now we hope he's gone to heaven.

Here lies Sam Shay.
Smoked six packs a day.
He started smoking when he was eight.
Now he he doesn't look too great.

Here lies Sam Shay.
Smoked six packs a day.
He started smoking when he was nine.
Now he isn't feeling fine.

Here lies Sam Shay.
Smoked six packs a day.
He started smoking when he was ten.
Now, he'll never smoke again.