How to Write an "I Can't Write a Poem" Poem
by Bruce Lansky

This is one poem everyone can write. Why? Because it’s so easy and so much fun.

All you have to do is to make a list of your favorite excuses/complaints you make every time your teacher asks you to write a poem. Add just the right title and ending and voila! You’ve written a terrific list poem.

Here’s how it might turn out:

    I Can’t Write a Poem

    Forget it.
    You must be kidding.
    I’m still half asleep.
    My eyes keep closing.
    My brain isn’t working.
    I don’t have a pencil.
    I don’t have any paper.
    My desk is wobbly.
    I don’t know what to write about.
    And besides, I don’t even know how to write a poem.
    I’ve got a headache. I need to see the nurse.
    Time’s up? Uh oh!
    All I have is this dumb list of excuses.
    You like it? Really? No kidding.
    Thanks a lot.
    Would you like to see another one?

See what I mean?

I bet you will love writing this one. To get started, start with "I Can’t Write a Poem" as the title. Then come up with some excuses—the more ridiculous, the better. Then add the lines from "Times up?" to "Thanks a lot" from the poem above. Finally, come up with the last line on your own.

Good luck!


If you are interested in inviting Bruce Lansky to your school, click here!