Funny poetry for children


















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How to Write a "How Much Do I Love You?"
(or a "How Much Don't I Love You?" Poem

by Bruce Lansky

Sometimes it's easier to talk (and write) about what you DON'T like than about what you do like. That's why I wrote a poem called "I Love You Not" in My Dog Ate My Homework. I figure that poem might get more use on Valentines Day than "How Much Do I Love You?"

Either way you go is fine with me, as long as your poem is well written. Here's the model:

I love you I love you
I love you so well,
If I had a skunk
I would give you a smell.

If I were a dog
I would give you a bite.
If I were a witch
I would give you a fright. If I were a bathtub
I'd give you a splash.
If I were a fungus
I'd give you a rash.

I love you so much
that I won't tell a lie:
I promise we'll marry
the day that I die.

Rhythm and Rhyme Pattern:
da DUM DUM da DUM DUM (A)
da DUM DUM da DUM (B)
da DUM DUM da DUM DUM (C)
da DUM DUM da DUM (B)

Pretty simple, isn't it? A good old ABCB rhyme scheme with a fun beat. Now, all you need is a list of ideas. You can make two columns on your paper, one for "I Love You So Much That..." and another for "I Hate You So Much That..." Under the first title you could put lines like "I'd share my dessert with you" and "I'd give you the shirt off my back." In the second column, you might put "I'd let you smell my pet skunk" and "I'd share my germs with you."

I think you can pretty much take it from here.

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