by Kenn Nesbitt
My aunt calls me "Elizabeth."
My grandma calls me "Liz."
My sister calls me "Lisa,"
and the baby calls me "Wiz."

My uncle calls me "Betty,"
while my grandpa calls me "Beth."
My brother calls me "Dizzy Liz"
or sometimes "Lizard Breath."

My teacher calls me "Betsy,"
and my friends all call me "Bess."
I find these nicknames more annoying
than you’d ever guess.

I wish they would call me
by my real name instead.
I simply hate those nicknames;
see, my real name is Fred.


Text © Kenn Nesbitt, reprinted from The Aliens Have Landed at Our School! published by Meadowbrook Press. Illustration © Margeaux Lucas. Any copying or use of this poem or illustration without consent is unlawful.


The Story Behind the Poem:
It has always struck me as interesting that some names (such as Elizabeth and Margaret) have many, many nicknames. Most names can be shortened (such as "Chris" instead of "Christopher"), but Elizabeth seems to be the all-time winner as the name with the most nicknames. This struck me as a good idea for a poem.

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