Veggie Rap

by David Fisher

Oh I don't care for carrots, and beans are not my bag
Raddicchio's ridic-yo, and spinach makes me gag
Every pea is gross, be it black-eyed, snap or sugar
If you hold one near your nose it gonna look just like a booger

Won't eat 'em
Cold or casseroled, creamed or steamed or even roasted
Stewed or barbecued, chilled or grilled or lightly toasted
Sauteed, pureed or salted, malted, caked or baked or broiled
Souffled, glaceed or glazed and braised or rinsed and minced and boiled

Not even partly into parsley, it's a really vile herb
And if a turnip ever turns-up, I will kick it to the curb
Broccoli is not for me, the thought just makes me ill
Asparagus? You know I'll fuss, don't want it near my grill

Is there anyone among us who thinks mushrooms are a treat?
Technically they are a fungus, I won't let them near my feet!
Artichoke is not a joke, it really makes me sick
Arugula's mashugana, and I don't like its shtick

My dad is into pumpkin soup, and mama's into lentil
Each goop looks just like baby poop, I think that they're both mental
I yam a yam detester, and a sweet potata hate-a
No fan of corn since I was born, tomata? see you late-a

Text © David Fisher reprinted from Dinosaur Disco. Any copying or use of this poem without consent is unlawful.

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