Birthday Roast

by Bruce Lansky
We’ve gathered here to celebrate the birthday of a friend. We hope (his/her) weird behavior will soon be at an end.

(He/She) didn’t go to school today. (He/She) missed a spelling test. They wouldn’t let (him/her) on the bus, because (he/she) wasn’t dressed.

(He/She) hasn’t made (his/her) bed or cleaned (his/her) room for several years. We called (his/her) room a pig pen, and (he/she) burst out into tears.

One think about dear (name) that makes us very proud: When (he/she) throws a temper tantrum, (he/she) always draws a crowd.

It’s very clear our birthday (boy/girl) is going through a stage. We hope that (his/her) behavior will catch up to (his/her) age.


Text © Bruce Lansky reprinted from Happy Birthday to Me!, published by Meadowbrook Press. Illustration © Jack Lindstrom. Any copying or use of this poem or illustration without consent is unlawful.

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