Birthday Advice

by Bruce Lansky
Today on your birthday
I think you should know—
you’re getting too old now
to suck on your toe.

And when you get hungry
I hope you won’t spread
the jam that you find
between your toes on your bread.

Do not shine your shoes
with the wax from your ear.
Don’t shampoo your hair
with your dad’s favorite beer.


Text © Bruce Lansky reprinted from If Pigs Could Fly...and Other Deep Thoughts, published by Meadowbrook Press. Illustration © Stephen Carpenter. Any copying or use of this poem or illustration without consent is unlawful.

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