The Curse of the Foul-Smelling Armpit

by Trevor Harvey
The curse of the foul-smelling armpit
is the one thing it’s best to avoid;
it’s a HORROR that lurks unsuspecting
and has many a friendship destroyed.
For people no longer stand near you—
they throw back their heads in despair
and rush away looking quite frantic,
the shock is just TOO MUCH to bear!

When questioned, nine out of ten people
agreed they would much rather spend
a night in a CREEPY OLD CASTLE
than next to a ‘foul armpit’ friend!
The president said in the White House,
“It’s the very best WEAPON we’ve got!
Much stronger than onions and garlic,
or cabbages starting to rot!”
If thousands of men with foul armpits
could parachute down from the sky
right onto an enemy army,
they’d force them to curl up and die!
No weapon could match this performance;
we’d win without firing a gun!
Defense cuts would run into BILLIONS—
and fighting a war would be fun!

To people with foul-smelling armpits
the message is clear as can be:
BUY A SPRAY and your friends will be glad that
you don’t smell as grungy as me!


Text © Trevor Harvey, reprinted from Miles of Smiles published by Meadowbrook Press. Illustration © Stephen Carpenter. Any copying or use of this poem or illustration without consent is unlawful.

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