How Many Doofuses Does It Take to Screw In a Light Bulb?

by Gary Turchin

One to bring the hammer,
One to start the drill,
One to haul the ladder,
One to hold it still.
One to buy a light bulb,
One to drop and break it,
One to buy another,
One to stop and shake it.
One to say: "It’s good!"
One to say: "It’s not!"
One to stop the argument.
One to mark the spot.
One to call the neighbor,
One to lend the wrench,
One to wash the ceiling,
One to move the bench.
One to build a scaffold,
One to test its strength,
One to measure height,
One to measure length.
One to bring the iodine,
One to call the doc,
One to flick the switch—
And one to take the shock.


Text © Gary Turchin, reprinted from Rolling in the Aisles published by Meadowbrook Press. Illustration © Stephen Carpenter. Any copying or use of this poem or illustration without consent is unlawful.

Click the cover below for more information or to buy the book.

go back to Tall Tales