My Older Brother Bob

by Robert Scotellaro
(sing to the tune of “Ta-Ra-Ra Boom-De-Ay” or “The Farmer in the Dell”)

My older brother Bob
is an enormous slob.
He leaves his underwear
all scattered here and there.

You really could fill up
a giant garbage truck
with all the food he drops
and spills and drips and plops.

His socks stink up his room.
They’d cause a skunk to swoon.
He leaves them in a mound—
the flies all buzz around.

I wish he would consent
to live inside a tent.
It wouldn’t be that hard.
We’d keep it in the yard.

Ta-ra-ra boom-de-ay,
that day will come, I pray.
But till my brother’s gone,
I’ll keep my gas mask on!

Text © Robert Scotellaro, reprinted from Oh My Darling, Porcupine, published by Meadowbrook Press. Illustration © Stephen Carpenter. Any copying or use of this poem or illustration without consent is unlawful.

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