Teacher's Lunch Contest, 2nd Round

by Winners and Finalists

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Second Round Winners

The Truth About What Teachers Eat For Lunch
Cardboard boxes and ceiling wax,
Old banana peels and rusty thumb tacks,
Rotten peaches up to the sky,
Flies and leeches a mile high,
Pink toenails and icky, stinky socks,
Bad brand of toothpaste and big hard rocks,
A kitty cat’s hairball and old chewed up gum,
We’re halfway through the menu, but we’re still not done,
Wads of paper and curdled milk,
Tons of green pond slime, smooth as silk,
A gallon of this and a ton of that,
No wonder why most of the teachers are fat.
Pencil ends and then for dessert,
Lots of school mystery meat and an old dirty shirt,
All of it stuff that should be thrown away,
Would you like to try the teacher’s lunch one day?
—Kelli Hines, 6th grade

My Teacher’s Lunch
If I served my teacher hot lunch
here’s what it would be
She’d start with booger salad
and then some oyster tea.

Next I would give her some shark
with the teeth all still inside
and if it doesn’t eat her back
some crickets on the side

And now it’s time for her dessert
She’s just about to pop
A great big bowl of ice cream
with jellyfish on top.
—Rachel Ann Lavigne, 1st grade

Second Round Finalists

My Favorite Teacher
"Hello teacher" I said one day
"I made your lunch so don’t dismay!
I got you a piece of half-eaten melon
eat it quick before it starts smellin’
Then I made you a rat and moth soup
those brown things, I think, are called rat poop
To follow, you got a whole piggy cake
I just put it in the coffin to bake
I got you a drink of human blood
It tastes a little like hot mud
I hope you liked your DIFFERENT lunch
Wait ’til tomorrow when I bring you brunch!"
—Andrea Budagowski, 6th grade

What I’d Serve My Teacher For Lunch
If I served hot lunch to my teacher,
I’d start off with spider-leg stew.
Next I’d serve pickled-bug salad
Followed by juice from a moo.

Then I’d serve a scummy-gum sandwich
And a shampoo souffle made to order.
After she’s eaten all that I served her,
I hope she doesn’t grow any SHORTER!!
—Sarah, 2nd grade

Just for Her!
She asked me to prepare for her
A lunch she’d never forget
I couldn’t wait to see her face
When she tasted it.

I made a sandwich never made
One that wiggles and squirms
I made a sandwich just for her
With licorice sticks and worms.

I added bits of tuna and a touch
Of mustard by Poupon
And what she needed very much
Was mouthwash—I loaded it on!

No wonder when she took a bite
Her eyes began to water.
But then I gagged with her delight
When she asked me for another!!!!
—Ginny Marie Hilton, 5th grade

Mr. Rice
For my teacher, Mr. Rice
I would serve a plate of lice
Two slimy snakes
A big, gross snail
A beetle’s head
A beaver’s tail
And for dessert, I’d stew his…
Whoops, here he is!
—Evan Wilson, 4th grade

Food is yummy. Food is yucky.
If I could feed Mom I give her a ducky.
Mommy is good, Mommy is nice,
but she would never dine on lice.
Mommy is lovely, Mommy is kind.
Mommy would never eat pork rinds.
Mommy is my teacher because I’m homeschooled.
Ha! Ha! Had you fooled!
—Katherine Price, 4th grade

If I Served Hot Lunch to My Teacher
If I served hot lunch to my teacher,
I’d start off with a bowl of hairy soup.
I’d follow with eyeball salad
I hope she doesn’t think it’s goop.
Next comes the plate of brainburgers,
Then the pickle on top of ice cream
With a glass of blood soda
I hope she doesn’t pass out and scream.
—Jennifer Pearl Gottschalk, 3rd grade

My Teacher’s Lunch
Eyeball stew,
She’ll have to go to the loo,
Nose Pie,
That shouldn’t make her die,
Bat Blood,
A nice tangy drink,
All that together,
And she’ll throw up in the sink.
—Jessica Ryan, 4th grade

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