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Giggle Poetry Featured Poem

The Battle Hymn of the Repulsive
by Michael Bowman

(sing to the tune of “The Battle Hymn of the Republic”)

Mine eyes have seen the kitchen,
which is why I bring my lunch.
I have smelled the things they’re cooking,
and they’re toxic, I’ve a hunch.
And the salads are so soggy that
you’ll never hear a crunch.
I bring my lunch to school!

Chorus
I can’t stand the food they serve me!
I can’t stand the food they serve me!
I can’t stand the food they serve me!
I bring my lunch to school!

They torture nose and taste buds
with both hamburger and spuds.
There are meatballs in a gravy that’s
like iridescent mud.
Mashed potatoes hit both tray and stomach
with a sick’ning thud.
I bring my lunch to school!

Chorus

It’s amazin’ when a raisin
starts to crawl across your cake;
that was when I first decided
the dessert was a mistake.
And I wouldn’t like to guess what’s
floating in that chocolate shake.
I bring my lunch to school!

Chorus




Text © Bruce Lansky reprinted from I’ve Been Burping in the Classroom, published by Meadowbrook Press. Illustration © Stephen Carpenter. Any copying or use of this poem or illustration without consent is unlawful.


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